Saturday, April 5, 2008

"Oh, I'm Sorry..."

So tonight's loss to the Braves was pretty much all around miserable to watch but it did provide one incredibly entertaining moment. In the middle of that mess of a game we got to enjoy the most hysterical, embarrassing, shameless promotion I've ever seen in my life starring our old friend Tom Glavine. After a moment of silence he looks up and says "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just reading Tim McCarver's new book." I didn't see you there, America. I was too enthralled in this literary masterpiece. It's the greatest work since Shakespeare, a sight more beautiful than my wife and children. I have no time to discuss the 2007 collapse and the emotional damage I've caused the Mets fanbase right now because I am all caught up in this work of genius from the most important mind of our time, Tim McCarver. On bookshelves now!
Oh, FOX. How I look forward to another season of Saturday games.
I'd also like to make the petty observation that it is looking like Glavine has put on some weight this offseason. Since speaking his name causes me to convulse from now on I will be referring to him as Fatty McButterpants.

Also please note that I am still very sick and surviving on nothing but couph syrup so I apologize if everything above is completely incoherent and not at all funny outside of my warped brain.


Brooklyn said...

Is it because I'm little? I cracked up at all of this and you know it. I want you to know that I appreciate this... Fatty McButterpants. Oh my, it's just to funny!

Brooklyn said...

I would have responded sooner but I was just reading Tim McCarver's new book.